To Sami

To Sami 1
The world folds its arms over me
not to hug me
but to silence my laughing heart
How could it not, when I am the one who used to see purple
in everything even war.

To Sami 2
I’m sorry, because on Friday, September 29, 2023,
I forgot to tell you the date of my karate match,
and you had asked me to come,
but the game preparations made me forget.

I’m sorry, because I didn’t get to hear your voice one last time on October 16
due to bad reception.

I’m sorry, because I couldn’t come to you on the morning of October 18
to say goodbye to your body
because of the fiery clashes targeting the area around your home.

I’m sorry, because I left our friend Bisan,
those days when we used to comfort each other just by being close,
remembering you, recalling your laughter, your steps, everything,
but I traveled to the city you loved
and left my beloved behind the rubble of our city
and left Bisan to hold her tight.

I’m sorry, because I still can’t get to Ramallah
as we promised to go together this year, my friend.

I’m sorry, because I still don’t understand how you left
and how I don’t call your name again inside Tamer’s office.

Could you accept all my apologies?

To Sami 3
The homeland has grown tight at its waist…
and I haven’t heard your voice for months—
except when you surprise me in dreams at night
just to reassure me and leave again…

An exiled child
I cry
whenever I remember our dreams of travel…

This is how I became now, my beloved…
Why did you leave the coffee cup upside down?
We never traveled
And where is the homeland now that you’re gone?
Where, my friend?

To Sami 4
Dear Sami, the sky is so red here,
and nothing green remains in this world,
your eyes have left.

I know well that if you were here,
and one of us needed firewood to cook our food,
your eyes’ roots would be uprooted for us.

I know if you were here,
we’d scream Sheikh Imam songs,
and smile at a situation that displeases us—
smile because we are together.

To Sami 5
That day will come and I will smile.
You will come closer little by little,
hug me, and we will walk together
to the heart of the sea to discover it side by side, my companion.

To Sami 6
I made this yesterday…
Let me tell you, despite its emptiness,
it weighed heavy on my back as I carried it.